A gentle touch when the troubles of this world humble me, The secret smile around your eyes,
The flakes of wit deliciously falling from your lips,
The way you softly laugh me to sleep.... I tell myself to remember the heartache, the deceit
I tell myself to remember the betrayal
and the disappointment
I remind my heart of the pain and finger
old scars I count each wound,
taste the bitterness,
remember the madness,
relive the loneliness go through my library of memories for all the reasons why I should move in chariots of anger.... but I have a soul of music,
and all it can feel is the memory of you gently wrapping yourself around me and softly laughing me to sleep.... I have a soul of music,
and all it can feel is the illusion of you and me,
the warmth of our little world, before other people mattered.
I know now that I don't want you back I know now that it was for the best that you left,
that you never really could make me happy,
that I deserved better I know now that I don't love you anymore,
that I feel empty when I hear your name I am wise enough now to dissect the incompatibilities to rationalise my emotions,
to know that I do not have the energy or faith to love again to be disappointed again.... but my soul of music still shivers at the smell of your perfume,
it's an instinctive reaction...I can't help it... still yearns to be softly laughed to sleep and I don't know why but when I see the latest book by your favourite writer,
I find myself snatching it and talking to you aloud in the middle of a crowded bookshop,
even though I have not thought about you for months.... It is the dream that I miss,
the youthful innocence and the hope... the escapism of your arms... now I have the safety of my cynicism,
the lonely comfort of wisdom and it is with a sad,
very old smile that i remember being softly laughed to sleep.
Author : L.C on the 13/02/2007 @ Behind the mask
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